Guys, I'd just like to honor my ancestors' heroic deeds by advancing from blue to brown. None of my old teachers had as much integrity as me. So who better to promote me than myself. I'm my own man, and I don't need another man to put a belt on me.
Unfortunately, I don't roll. So I will be putting myself through a 20 minute shark tank in my mind against the toughest black belts in the world. I'll be opening my own Brazilian Jiu Jitsu school, and anyone that gets promoted by me will just put on their next belt when they feel they are ready after I throw it on the mat after class. I will accept your congratulations now.